Speaking for myself, I have lived my life in a particular way. I consider life from two distinct perspectives; the inner world (my universe) and the outer world (the big universe which my universe intersects with).
The Outer World
For many people, it seems to me, there is only one world: the outer world. It governs them. It could be said that they are complete automatons to the events of this outer world. Of course they do not see it like that, but from where I’m looking it seems exactly so. It might be pleasant to be able to claim that “It is not so for us.” I doubt that it would be accurate though.
Any examination of the events of my life suggest to me that most of what I have done for a living, who I have consorted with, where I have lived and so on, were indeed driven by events from the outer world. And given my nature, many of the things that I “chose to do,” were a foregone conclusion. I didn’t really make choices, I just fell in line.
The Inner World
But what of this inner world? What is it? How did it arise?
We could also ask why is it so weak? And we could also ask why does it exist at all?
Being as honest as I know how, I have to say that there has always been something in me that wants to “find out.” You would demean it to call it “curiosity,” You can be curious about trivia. It is more than that. I can look at my life and I can see that some of the decisions I have taken came from my inner world. I sought out particular books, I sought out particular people, I was enchanted by cathedrals, I listened to holy music. This came from my inner world.
For many years I fed on a diet of words. Words from holy books, word from mystical books, words from Work books. That was mostly how this inner world fed.
One day, there was a focussing. It was fairly recent. It happened that one day the ruler of my inner world concluded that Gurdjieff’s words could be trusted. Gurdjieff was dead, passed, but his writings remained – the writings over which he slaved for so many years. They could be trusted. They were the most important food in the diet of words.
This was no small thing – to have concluded that there was no point looking anywhere else. In my opinion, it is not a conclusion that many people have reached.
It was not long after that, that the ruler of that inner world decided to “try and fathom the gist.”