What we are in our essence— our highest possibilities— we do not know. What we are in our person— the implacable conditioning that defines us— we also do not know. We identify with our person, ignorant of the relation that should exist between it and our essence. Yet inner development begins with the capacity to know myself, to understand my entire self.
I have to know that I have a double nature, that there are two forces in me: the descending force of manifestation and an ascending force returning to the source. I have to experience them here at the same time in order to know myself as a whole. There must be some reason why I am here, something that is needed for a relation between the two. This is the meaning of my Presence.
In each event in life— whether family, professional or inner life—there is a double movement of involution and evolution. The action is directed toward an aim, toward manifestation, but behind it is something that has no aim, that does not project itself but returns to the source. These two currents are indispensable to each other.
We know in theory that the two currents exist, but we are not really conscious of them. I do not know enough the ascending current. I do not have in myself, at the time I wish, the elements that would allow me to feel its life, to feel my life.
The other current I do not know either, because I am blindly immersed in it. Yet without the vision of the two currents, the wish to be present at a given place and a given time has no sense. I need a constant vision of them in order to see the point of application of the attention and of the will, the will not to lose myself.
~ J de S