The Watchman

Observation of myself shows me how better to concentrate and strengthens the attention. It makes me see that I do not remember myself, that I do not see my state of sleep. I am fragmented, my attention is dispersed, and there is no force that is available to see. When I awaken, I make an effort to disengage enough attention to oppose this dispersion, and to see it. This is a state that is more voluntary.

Now there is a watchman, and this watchman is a different state of consciousness.

I must always remember that I do not know what I am, that the whole problem is who is present. Self-observation by my usual thought, with its separation between the observer and what is observed, will only strengthen the illusion of my ordinary “I.”

At a certain moment we come to see two aspects, two natures, in ourselves—a higher nature related to one world and a lower nature related to another, a different world. What are we? We are neither one nor the other— neither God nor animal. We participate in life with both a divine nature and an animal nature. Man is double; he is not one. And as such, he is only a promise of man until he can live with both natures present in himself and not withdraw into one or the other.

~J de S

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